We recently popped by Cosmo Alley / Trader Vic Alley in San Francisco.
This was the location of the then-flagship location of Trader Vic’s when it opened in 1950 and eventually became so famous that the Queen of England dined with President Reagan and had her first meal in any restaurant. This Vic’s location closed in 1994 before I got into tiki, so was never able to visit. The restaurant’s successor Le Colonial closed a while back and recent news indicates there’s a desire to transform the area from a parking lot into an urban park.
This is across the street from the old Tiki Bob’s location, now the Honey Honey cafe. We also noticed there’s a Vic’s Cleaners around the corner and wondered if this business might date from the days when Trader Vic’s was one of the leading restaurants in the city.
When working through the Rum Asylum list you can have the rum in a Daiquiri for $3 more. I wisely decided this was a great perk for the Denizen White (to up) 5 Year, a crisp lighter leaning rum that’s perfect in this format when expertly prepared and balanced like it was during our visit. I then chose Planteray Xaymaca Jamaica rum with an ice cube, so Dr. Funk dropped in a big ol’ rock in there and it tasted great.
Crowd wasn’t too bad when we got there, apart from the chick at the table next to us who had an extremely high pitched laugh that was constantly irritating us even we went around the corner to the restroom. There were also plenty of people enjoying the heat lamps out on the patio and music was on point as well.
Monday was a good night out in downtown San Jose, with Dr. Funk hosting Risky Quizness doing Friends trivia. This is Mrs. Mai Tai’s favorite show, and I expected her to a lot better than when we went to Office trivia and I didn’t really do very well (reminder: I used to cohost an Office podcast!). Unfortunately, the questions posted were, well, let’s just call them deep cuts and we didn’t do much better this time. Considering the level of difficulty, we’re not sure we’ll do more of these trivia events.
Nonetheless we did have a good time, thanks to more rums from the Dr. Funk Rum Asylum Level 1 list. As with my previous post about choosing a trio of easy sippers, this time I went thematic again with three white rums that show how diverse unaged rums can be.
The three rums are:
Wray & Nephew White Overproof Jamaica Rum
Kō Hana Kea from O’ahu
Rhum JM Agricole Blanc from Martinique
What a fabulous way to show how diverse rum can be with these three unaged rums. The Wray & Nephew is made from molasses and is a flavorful high-proof fruit bomb, whereas the Rhum JM is made from sugar cane juice and features grassy and vegetal notes. My favorite in this group was the very pleasant and mild Kō Hana Kea that has balanced flavors from the Hawaiian cane.
Meanwhile Mrs. Mai Tai knocked off another from her Rum Asylum list by having a Bacardi Ocho in the Daiquiri format. So clean and definitely more flavorful than the standard Bacardi.
Our sons enjoyed some classic Dr. Funk cocktails including the Shipwreck, Saturn’s Sunrise, and Phoenix Rising – plus some great Nacho Fries and Coconut Shrimp, but our entire table disliked Dr. Funk’s version of the Jungle Bird that uses the Cruzan Black Strap rum with its overbearing maple syrup flavor.
San Jose’s “hidden tiki bar” remains anything but, thanks to a thematic shamrock light display that all along San Pedro Square can see. Monday was pretty busy thanks to the trivia and also Dr. Funk’s stellar drinks.
Working my way through the Dr. Funk “Rum Asylum” Level 1 list and popped over for a quick visit early on Saturday. This seemed like a good opportunity to compare and contrast some of the lighter leaning rums that can be used in cocktails but also offer a good sipping experience. Being a veteran rum drinker, I typically like to sip higher proof expressions so I can really get a lot of flavor, but that can be a turnoff for those new to sipping rum.
All are pretty good in this format, and since I’ve tried them all before I asked for shorter pours just to not have to drink so much in one sitting. The Bacardi and Santa Teresa have small amounts of sugar added, not uncommon in column still Spanish heritage rums, but neither is overly sweet, thank goodness. Santa Teresa uses Solera style aging so is probably less overall age than the Bacardi, resulting in less overall character. Very approachable, though, and as much as I dislike Bacardi Superior white rum I do enjoy the Ocho when I’m looking for something that isn’t a gigantic flavor bomb. Very pleasant flavors from both.
The Barbancourt is a little different and in this group leaning more into an assertive flavor profile. Made from sugar cane juice, the aging means that you don’t really get those vegetal notes common in rums from that source product. Instead, it is a flavorful and rummy taste that works especially well over an ice cube.
Dr. Funk’s Level 1 rum list presents a great introduction to the variety of popular and consistently available rums.
When downtown San Jose’s Dr. Funk opened in 2021 it came with the moniker “Rum House / Kitchen” but to date there hasn’t been a lot of emphasis on rum itself apart from a well-stocked back bar. That changed this week with the lunch of a rum club called the Rum Asylum.
Taking nods from the legend of Doctor Bernhard Funk, the club features thematic levels including the starting level called “Inpatient” that features twenty notable rums including one flight. The booklet that you keep with you includes a graphical map of your journey and places for the crew to stamp the spot after you order your item. Rewards and future levels are slated to be revealed soon.
Shockingly, Mrs Mai Tai decided to start the list herself, so we both ordered the rum flight that provides a nice intro to rum with Planteray Pineapple, Paranubes cane rum from Mexico, and Appleton 12 from Jamaica. Each rum on the list can be ordered as a Daiquiri for a $3 up-charge, and Kō Hana Kea was a big hit for Julie in format. Meanwhile, I went to “oak town” with Appleton 21 and Privateer Queen’s Share, each of which feature tons of wood aging notes.
This new program is just getting off the ground, but look for rum-related events and additional levels with some interesting and unique rewards to be announced soon. In the meantime, now is a perfect time to explore the initial list that includes a very nice variety of mainstream rums all under $50 for a 1½ oz pour (most substantially less). The list includes Dr Funk’s unique blend of Myers’s Single Barrel Select and rums from Martinique, Barbados, the United States, and more.
Thanks to Amanda Hastings for hosting the launch event and helping customers get acquainted. Note: nurse Amanda will not be appearing nightly.
With the closing of our beloved Kon-Tiki Oakland, it is finally time to amend our list of the Top 10 Mai Tais in the World. This list is all about what’s in the glass, not the surrounding decor or atmosphere, and is based on the standard-issue Mai Tai at the venue.
In considering which Mai Tai replace it with, there were several that came to mind.
The Ultimate Mai Tai at Tiki Tom’s (Walnut Creek): I’m biased in saying it but I think they do a great job and the last time I had it there I even impressed myself by how much I loved it.
Cane & Table Mai Tai at Cane & Table (New Orleans): a rich and chewy Mai Tai with a blend of pungent rums including rich sugar cane juice distillate.
Terry’s Mai Tai at the Copper Room (Yucca Valley): a vintage bar on a dusty road next to a tiny airport in the middle of nowhere has one of the finely balanced Mai Tais? Yes, friends.
Off Menu Mai Tai at The Beachcomber (London): a really fantastic Agricole Mai Tai, speciality of the bar.
Strong Water Anaheim: consistently good featuring Jamaica and Demerara rums plus zesty lime, expertly garnished.
In making the decision, I eliminated Cane & Table due to the ever-evolving nature of their rum blend, and not being a local I can’t make a call on whether the quality is keeping up. As much as I want the overall list to expand beyond the United States, I thought the more local contenders were better, and I decided that nepotism of sorts wasn’t good for designating Tiki Tom’s either. Someday Strong Water might boot one of the existing Top 10, but I went with the Mai Tai loved even more.
Terry’s Mai Tai is the brainchild of Terry Six, former bartender/manager at The Kon-Tiki, so there’s more than a little symmetry in choosing this to replace The Kon-Tiki. The transcendent drink is made with a “secret blend of four rums” and homemade orgeat, offering rich flavors and an amazing mouthfeel that is great to the last drop. Based on Six’s pedigree, I had the highest of expectations coming into this and it topped it in every way.
I’m fine with calling this the event of the year because if something else tops it I might not survive! Thursday night was a special event at Zombie Village featuring Doc Parks and Sam Miller from the opening day staff. Sam brought his SLC Ramora Bar partner Mikey Edwards and there were DJs Woody Miller, Ship Rex, and Principal Ponder. We saw so many people, some coming from Sacramento, San Jose, and Los Angeles, plus the return of former Villager Adrián Castañeda who came from Barcelona.
Doc Parks
This was billed as the last stop on the Doc Parks Encore Tour, offering an array of cocktail specials in the upstairs Voodoo Lounge that’s only occasionally open these days. We love hanging out amongst the skulls and of course Parks’ cocktails are always on point. Return of the Doc was a creamier version of the Disco Banana and the Pink Pony Club featured botanical notes and just of hint of smoky mezcal. Both of these were truly outstanding.
Mikey and Sam
Sam and Mikey were set up downstairs with standard ZV drinks available at the entrance well. When we arrived early Mrs. Mai Tai and I did our usual order of a Coco Pandan and Disco Banana, both day one cocktails and still so good. Both of us thought the Slam Wagon was a great uplift of a Painkiller template, but the Mai Tai riff called Muxu Muxi featured espellate orgeat and while I’m familiar with orgeat I wasn’t with espellate (it is a French pepper) and so the cocktail was way too spicy for me. I did enjoy the burst of orange and fruit flavors.
DJ Ship Rex
The venue was packed all evening and the rotating DJs meant there were various style of music along the way. We saw so many industry folks including people from other local tiki bars past and present. For one night only it reminded us of the glory days of 2019 at the Village. We hope this means ZV will continue do more to create mind share and that the end of Parks’ tour means he has a regular gig coming up soon.
Disco BananaAdrián CastañedaMuxu Muxu / Slam WagonReturn of the Doc / Pink Pony Club
