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Search for the Ultimate Terrible Mai Tai

I like to keep an open mind, because some days even your spider sense lets you down and what you think is terrible is actually really great.

This is not one of those days.

I had the lowest expectations for this Tropical Rum Mai Tai from Juneshine Spirits, but honestly it was even worse than I expected. This is most certainly the worst “Mai Tai” I’ve ever tried.

I like to cut ready-to-drink cocktails a whole lot of slack, but there is nothing to recommend about this pink and bubbly cocktail with an artificial cherry aftertaste. The label says “No Sugar Added” but I think it might have helped to have some.

  • 2 Shots Rum (Malahat)
  • Sparkling Water
  • Pineapple
  • Coconut
  • Orange
  • Cherry
  • Lime

Nowhere near tickling my tiki.

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Pumpkin Spice Mai Tai Recipe

Check out this cool new Hulaween-themed Mai Tai glass from Trader Vic’s. Available now in their online store.

To celebrate, I took a run at doing a Pumpkin Spice Mai Tai. In the past I’ve used the Captain Morgan Jack-O-Blast Rum as an accent rum in a standard 1944 Mai Tai. That rum isn’t being produced anymore, so I decided to try this a different way by making a pumpkin spice simple syrup.

Pumpkin Spice Mai Tai
1 oz Lime Juice
½ oz Orgeat
½ oz Pumpkin Spice Syrup
½ oz Orange Curacao
2 oz Aged/Gold Rum
Shake with ice and garnish with a burnt cinnamon stick and a couple cherries.

The rum here should be flavorful but not overpowering. I used Appleton Reserve 8 but your favorite moderately aged or “gold” rum will do fine.

Pumpkin Spice Simple Syrup
¾ cup Sugar
¾ cup Water
⅓ cup Canned Pumpkin Puree
1 tsp Pumpkin Spice

Heat water until just before boiling, take off heat and stir in the sugar. Once dissolved, add the pumpkin puree and spice, stirring for several minutes until the liquid has a consistent orange color. Add a little light rum and then bottle and refrigerate.

With this recipe the syrup does not hit you over the head with the pumpkin spice flavor, so you can add more spice if it suits you. I think it’s better when you just get a hint of the pumpkin flavor in the cocktail.

 

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Fetch Me a Mai Tai, Ping-Pong

RIP Angela Lansbury

Beloved actress Angela Lansbury died today at the age of 96. The actress was most known for appearing on numerous productions on Broadway and in later years as the star of the Murder, She Wrote television series.

The role I most associate with Lansbury was as Elvis Presley’s mother in the movie Blue Hawaii. Her character was grating at times, though Lansbury convincingly played the mother despite being less than ten years older than Elvis.

Blue Hawaii has some great music and pretty good performances by Elvis and costar Joan Blackman. And of course some gorgeous scenery of Hawai’i. Less good things can be said about the stereotypical and (currently viewed) racially insensitive portrayal of the Hawaiian and Asian characters in the film, notably the Chinese manservant Ping-Pong. Though, the stereotypical portrayal of Lansbury’s character of a Southern wife and mother probably won’t be viewed positively by many as well.

The line that is most memorable is when Lansbury’s character asks for a couple of Mai Tais. I mean it is just so ridiculously awful and insensitive today to hear her say “Fetch me a Mai Tai, Ping-Pong” that just have to shake your head.

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The Murderqueen Cocktail: a Dark Cocktail for Halloween

This original cocktail was developed by Tonga Tim Harnett of Tiki Underground bar in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio. It was featured last week on Spike’s Breezeway Cocktail Hour on YouTube, named in honor of Spike’s girlfriend Larissa – otherwise known as the Murderqueen. Check out the video on YouTube, and then check out the amazing surf/horror single “Theme from The Murderqueen” that Spike put out a couple years ago on Hi-Tide Recordings.

The Murderqueen Cocktail by Tim Harnett
1½ oz Pink Grapefruit Juice
½ oz Solerno Blood Orange Cordial
¼ oz Orgeat
¼ oz Passion Fruit syrup
½ oz Raspberry syrup
1 oz Plantation OFTD Overproof Rum
1 oz Rum Bar Overproof Rum
4 heavy dashes Peychauds Bitters
Shake with ice and garnish with three dark cherries

I subbed Liber for the Blood Orange Cordial, and Chambord liqueur for the raspberry syrup. I used Latitude 29 Orgeat and Small Hand Foods Passion Fruit Syrup.

Despite the grapefruit juice and heavy rums, this cocktail is actually pretty easy to drink. It has a real nice set of flavors and seems timely for Halloween season.

Glassware: new Halloween Mai Tai glass from Trader Vic’s, available for sale online.

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Sunday Brunch at San Jose’s Dr Funk Tiki Bar

Dr. Funk has been doing brunch on Sundays for a couple months now, so we went over to sample it. The menu has some nice boozy cocktail options, along with some traditional and Hawaiian food offerings.

Mrs Mai Tai and I enjoyed the Thai-Chi and Puka Punch cocktails that were available, and can see that bottomless POG Mimosas could be popular. The Puka Punch really blew me away with some tangy tropical flavors and just the right blend of silver, aged, black and 151 rums. Note that these are the only cocktail options available during brunch.

We kept it simple for the food this time. Mrs. Mai Tai really liked the Veggie Benedict that featured two well-prepared poached eggs and plenty of veggies. I did the BYO Scrambled eggs but didn’t add the optional protein or veggies. Really liked the preparation of the hash browns, which are often harder to get right than you might think.

Brunch at Dr. Funk is a delight. Quite mellow and relaxing inside, or go out to the patio to watch the game on the newly installed televisions.

Thai-Chi
Puka Punch
Veggie Benedict
BYO Scramble
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Mid-Week Dinner at The Tonga Room

My friend Amy was in town for business but we found time for dinner at The Tonga Room a couple blocks from her hotel. Yes, it helps to get there early before opening even on Wednesday. But it is worth it when they give you a table right by the lagoon.

About the same experience as last time. The prices here are pretty steep, but you can’t beat the amazing decor inside. Music was an eclectic mix of surf and Hawaiian and a little Reggae, and service was spot on as usual. I really liked my salmon entree.

Drinks were okay. Mrs. Mai Tai’s Shirley Temple didn’t even come with a cherry, but the Tonga Kong was a hit for her and with Amy. The Mai Tai was a little too limey, though mellowed over time.

We also had a short visit with Jayme from @lagoonofmystery who was in town for whirlwind tour of the Bay Area’s famed set of tiki bars.

Mai Tai at The Tonga Room
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Spike’s Breezeway Cocktail Hour Halloween Pin

A very cool new pin was sent out to Patreon supporters of Spike’s Breezeway Cocktail Hour. And the note was even hand-signed by Spike.

I am still enjoying this weekly YouTube show covering cocktails and other adjacent topics, with Spike and sometimes with special guests. Check it out if you’re not hip.

Spike is also dropping some new merch today, so if you want to support the show or just get some cool stuff then head over to The Hula Girls website to grab it before it’s gone.