Like clockwork, every five years it is time to revisit Hawaii West, a dirty tiki bar near the border of North Beach and Chinatown in San Francisco. This venue has a long history but the years have not been kind, so much so that even experienced tikiphiles have never heard of this place. Part dive bar, part tiki bar – this is definitely not the bar for everyone.
We entered at 9:00 pm on a Friday to find the place dimly lit and a mature lady sitting alone at the bar watching TV and having a snack. An awkward pause ensued. The staring contest ended when I asked if she worked here, at which point she dropped her fork and worked her way back behind the bar. I scanned the back bar, trying not to focus on the softcore photo prominently displayed back behind the bar. I also looked for a menu, missing the large sign off at the end of the bar.
The good thing about being on the Search for the Ultimate Mai Tai is that few bars won’t know how to make one, especially one with a few tikis scattered around. The orange and red cocktail soon appeared I handed the lady a twenty. Just $8 came back, meaning that this Mai Tai was only a couple bucks cheaper than the world class Mai Tai at Smuggler’s Cove – but Hawaii West is a place that seems like it was from a different universe. As grenadine laden Mai Tais go, I’ll have to admit it wasn’t half bad.
A trio of young people entered and must be semi regulars, chatting with the bartender. While waiting for our Lyft, we found that the toilet wouldn’t flush and reminding us our friend had a bad bathroom experience on our last visit. Reading the Yelp reviews, it appears food is sometimes available here which strikes me as … unappetizing.
I don’t object to tiki dive bars that appeal to a local clientele, such as with Trad’r Sam across town. Though, I’m not sure who Hawaii West is for.
