Twenty six hundred and one days ago a man walked into a bar in Oakland and ordered an off menu Mai Tai at a tiki bar during their soft open.
the first Mai Tai
Since then I’ve had probably hundreds of Mai Tai there. Thanks to a stellar rum collection, high quality ingredients, and a professional crew they’ve nearly aways very good, sometimes stellar or mind-blowing. It was the first bar to serve the Ultimate Mai Tai and it is the venue where I’ve had the best Mai Tai of my life.
The Kon-Tiki closed last night but I had to have one final Mai Tai. The circumstances were terrible but the Mai Tai was nearly perfect, a rum forward concoction with sweet and savory notes.
Despite being a supposedly simple drink to make, there are plenty of bars (even good bars) that can’t make a Mai Tai that’s balanced or tasty or without weird flavors. But the Kon-Tiki never let me down and the Mai Tai was unbeaten.
Thank you to every bartender who’s ever shaken one up. Thank you to the Kon-Tiki for ever existing.
The Kon-Tiki Oakland First Mai Tai: Nov. 8, 2017 Last Mai Tai: Dec. 21, 2024
I got word that yesterday was going to be the last night for the Kon-Tiki and made it up to Oakland to snag a table with the family at opening.
Kon-Tiki Closing Night Checklist
_ Complete the DIY cocktail checklist by having the Pantera Rosa (lovely fruity tequila cocktail) and the Ma Kua for two (a bold sharable drink) _ Order a last Uma Uma for Mrs. Mai Tai, her favorite _ Eat the legendary Kon-Tiki Burger for the last time, the best thing in the building that has 200 rums _ Order a Mai Tai _ One last toast with Christ _ Order Kon-Tiki merch (a t-shirt) _ Say thank you to the crew _ Leave an extra generous tip _ Enjoy Yacht Rock in a tiki bar _ Say aloha to the Oakhana _ Enjoy eclectic tunes from the DJ _ Leave with my Expedition plaque _ Take group photo with the family _ One last photo of the neon sign _ Fail at trying not to cry _ Regret not visiting more often
The Kon-Tiki is closing after service on Sunday but the place is going out with a bang as patrons from far and wide and coming for one final cheeseburger or cocktail. Wednesday was the last Ohana night, the day of the week when local tikiphiles have come to hang out on what is generally a slower night than the weekends. But this Wednesday was anything but slow, with a persistent full room and a wait out the door.
The Kon-Tiki staff were in full force, with all three service wells going at the same time to pump our drinks in a timely manner. There were several wait staff, several kitchen runners, and nice to see Jeanie Grant back in the house serving as the maître d’. We want to specifically call out Chris Parker and Kriss Cucuy for exceptional service for me personally this evening.
I’m working to complete another homemade “Kon-Tiki cocktail checklist” and knocked out a few cocktails and am ready to close it out on Sunday with Mrs. Mai Tai’s help. It’d been forever since I had the Zombie and found it to be pretty great – both potent and fruity, with a touch of spice. The Virgin’s Sacrifice was far too spicy for my mild tongue so I passed it over to Jeff as a bonus. Lastly, I had the Leviathan for Two (but just for me this evening) which I’d never had before and immediately liked. The cocktail has rum, bourbon, tangerine, and spices and was nice and rich and balanced. I’m going to miss the consistently high quality of cocktails here.
If you’re trying to get to Kon-Tiki in the next couple days, prepare for waits and treat the staff with kindness. It was so fantastic last night to see the crew working so efficiently on such a busy night – all to the sound of Yacht Rock that the Kon-Tiki used to play religiously and was a welcome return for me.
The Leviathan came in a nice Moai Mug that had a little tear-like drip that was all the more poignant as I left Ohana night for the last time.
We had a great time for the annual tiki mug swap at Forbidden Island last night. Thanks to Chad for organizing and hosting this, we put our wrapped mugs into the pile and ended up with some new ones. Mrs Mai Tai really loved hers, and while I thought the mini bowl was nice I was thankful for a trade.
There’s a nice holiday cocktail menu and Mrs Mai Tai loved the Tropical Hot Coder. Meanwhile I drank a couple rums from the rum list and gladly accepted the suggestion for a premium Mai Tai made with Monymusk 10 yr Jamaica rum. Very good Mai Tai with additional depth.
After a successful Beetlejuice overlay for Halloween, Dr. Funk has a Grinch theme for Christmas. The big guy is there to welcome you and there are fun thematic elements sprinkled about. Not quite as much of a “Christmas explosion” as some of the Miracle/Sippin’ Santa pop-up locations for better or worse, but it is nice that you can still this is a tiki bar.
We attended the Third Anniversary event that included an official launch of Dr Funk’s nice mug and a fantastic bundle with their formidable Grog that we think is a fantastic version of a Navy Grog. They were also doing a raffle to support Family Giving Tree, plus DJ Ship Rex spinning tunes. Lots of fun and nice to see the venue embracing a little bit of history and building traditions.
The special Grinch cocktail menu is overall a lot better than the one for Beetlejuice. The Mean One is similar to the aforementioned Grog and the wonderfully creamy and decadent Whobilation Libation features chocolate notes from the Kōloa Kauaʻi Cacao rum and dark chocolate coconut cream. The Cindy Lou-Apple has several overproof rums and it leans lighter than you might expect because the spirit focus is from the Laird’s Apple Brandy, nonetheless there’s still plenty of flavor and this should be really appealing to the diverse downtown San Jose audience.
Cindy Lou-Apple
While you’re in downtown you can also check out Nuvo Hospitality’s other bars for more festive holiday pop-ups. O’Flaherty’s Irish Pub next door to Dr. Funk is themed to Home Alone and Five Points around the corner is doing everyone’s favorite Christmas movie – Die Hard.
Congratulations to Smuggler’s Cove on 15 years, as it opened today in 2009. One of the finest run and cocktail bars anywhere. We thank owners Rebecca and Martin Cate for keeping up the quality throughout the years, even during the “canned cocktail and soup” era during the pandemic, and of course the Smuggler’s Cove crew who are so talented and gracious to customers.
First visit in 2015
The engaging space tells the story of tiki with nods to Trader Vic’s, Don the Beachcomber, and Tiki Bob’s, while the curated menu allows patrons to experience the history of rum and exotic cocktails through the ages. And the team builds on the tradition with their own amazing creations such as my personal favorite The Pampanito or the cult classic Dr. Barca’s Fluffy Banana. It is still home to one of the world’s best Mai Tais, and the best I’ve had there was made with the amazing Appleton 17 year old rum that Martin helped champion.
Mai Tai with Appleton 17
I’m proud to be a member of the Cove’s rum club, the Rumbustion Society. You can see my name on one of the many plaques in the bar and their rum program is so elevated that there are several people who’ve had over 2000 (!) rums here. There are a lot of fantastic benefits of being a member including special events and (shhh) secret stuff, so consider joining the program.
We have enjoyed nights at the Cove as a couple but it is better with friends, even those who are tiki newbies. The Cove continues to amaze first timers and even for veterans there’s always something new to see or discover, or just a new cocktail or rum to try.
Mrs Mai Tai and I were in the city on Wednesday to see Cher’s book tour event, so we stopped by the Tonga Room for dinner and drinks beforehand. The fortuitous night started with our exit out of the Powell BART station to find a nearly empty Cable Car ready to climb the hill. This saved us time and a great deal of effort and wasn’t much more expensive than a taxi ride, plus a lot of fun.
The Tonga Room is now taking reservations on Open Table, but weren’t sure when we’d arrive so didn’t make one and waited in the standby line. The doorman has the process down pat, offering patrons the ability to enter the bar (“drinks only, standing only, no food”), and then weaving in those with reservations and people without. We were seated shortly thereafter to enjoy the grand ambiance and attentive service that the Tonga Room is famous for. Rain showers followed, three in a 20 minute period. Food once again was the Poke Tostadas and the Grilled Salmon, leaning expensive but the taste was wonderful. We continue to wish the menu had a little more variety.
For drinks, they’re still using the same cocktail menu introduced in October 2023 and the overall quality remains strong. The Tiki Meister is still the standout item for me, a rich cocktail with Jägermeister, rums, and spices. I also had the Mai Tai, a lighter leaning but still good 1944 version with light and aged rums from Puerto Rico. And check out the fine bouquet of mint, which was impressive but not nearly as amazing as the mint in Mrs. Mai Tai’s hand-shaken colada with huge leaves. That Colada isn’t bad at all, even with Cruzan Black Strap rum which I normally try to avoid due to its maple syrup flavor but which worked here. The Seafoam Espresso Martini features sea foam cream and black lava salt that really enhance the flavors.
We exited before the band started playing and the $15/person cover charge kicked in. Coming early to the Tonga Room is just so relaxing and those drinks taste great and have plenty of booze too (a LOT of booze, actually). This remains a special destination that we try to hit at least a few times a year for special occasions.
Tiki Meister, Hand Shaken ColadaMai Tai, Seafoam Espresso Martini
