The Search for the Ultimate Mai Tai
Traveling the Bay Area and beyond to find the best Mai Tai in the world! Tiki, cocktails, and adventures by Kevin Crossman
This seems to be our new tradition to have brunch at South San Francisco’s Hula Hoops after an overnight in the City. The Lilikoi Pancakes were excellent again, and I checked another cocktail off my Hula Hoops cocktail checklist.
The Luzon Chiller is a dry Lemon Drop riff made with rum, elderflower, and lemon. Bartender Maria suggested she could add sugar if we wanted it more sweet but I found that it being a little dry was a plus. Very crisp and even the light rum is so much better than vodka.
It isn’t just a fabulous cocktail, one of our favorites. It comes with a Banana Chip and you can use the cocktail as a dip!
Our drinks on Saturday at Zombie Village were just as great as we’ve come to expect, including that blended Disco Banana with cinnamon and potent rums. The place was medium busy around 9:30 and in addition to the Disco Banana Mrs. Mai Tai also had the Coco Pandan that comes with an ube popsicle.
Meanwhile, I tried the Over the Garden Wall from the seasonal cocktail menu. This has Indonesian rum, elderflower, absinthe, coconut, citrus, and spice. I will say this leaned very close to being too spicy hot for me, but overall I liked the complex flavors. It was pretty good, but I should have ordered the Disco Banana.
Like clockwork, every five years it is time to revisit Hawaii West, a dirty tiki bar near the border of North Beach and Chinatown in San Francisco. This venue has a long history but the years have not been kind, so much so that even experienced tikiphiles have never heard of this place. Part dive bar, part tiki bar – this is definitely not the bar for everyone.
We entered at 9:00 pm on a Friday to find the place dimly lit and a mature lady sitting alone at the bar watching TV and having a snack. An awkward pause ensued. The staring contest ended when I asked if she worked here, at which point she dropped her fork and worked her way back behind the bar. I scanned the back bar, trying not to focus on the softcore photo prominently displayed back behind the bar. I also looked for a menu, missing the large sign off at the end of the bar.
The good thing about being on the Search for the Ultimate Mai Tai is that few bars won’t know how to make one, especially one with a few tikis scattered around. The orange and red cocktail soon appeared I handed the lady a twenty. Just $8 came back, meaning that this Mai Tai was only a couple bucks cheaper than the world class Mai Tai at Smuggler’s Cove – but Hawaii West is a place that seems like it was from a different universe. As grenadine laden Mai Tais go, I’ll have to admit it wasn’t half bad.
A trio of young people entered and must be semi regulars, chatting with the bartender. While waiting for our Lyft, we found that the toilet wouldn’t flush and reminding us our friend had a bad bathroom experience on our last visit. Reading the Yelp reviews, it appears food is sometimes available here which strikes me as … unappetizing.
I don’t object to tiki dive bars that appeal to a local clientele, such as with Trad’r Sam across town. Though, I’m not sure who Hawaii West is for.
We were in San Francisco’s North Beach on Friday for an evening of bar hopping and dinner, including a stop at Bamboo Hut right at opening. Described as a neighborhood tiki bar, Bamboo Hut has been around since 2000 and proudly avoids the trappings of the craft cocktail movement that are embraced by many of the Bay Area’s tiki bars.
The cocktail menu was refreshed in 2019 to be a little bit more upscale, including a 1944 Mai Tai. Back then they used Real McCoy rum from Barbados, but now the featured rums are Planteray 5 Barbados and Zaya (both with added sugar). Three people in our group ordered the Mai Tai and none of us were particularly impressed, each citing weird flavors from the rum or orgeat. At $15 this is not a good deal compared to other Mai Tais in the City.
We had a better time with some other drinks, including the Surfin’ Monkey which is a blended banana daiquiri style cocktail that has a lot of flavor and actually wasn’t totally over-sweet. The Zombie was served in a Hurricane glass but did feature some spicy notes that we like in a Zombie.
Inside the music was reggae and the service was quite efficient and pretty welcoming as well. This place can turn very clubby later in the evening if that’s your thing. We did enjoy the vintage tiki head that dates from the 1940s but as a neighborhood bar immersive decor isn’t really what Bamboo Hut is going for.
Mrs. Mai Tai and I had a great time on Tiki Tuesday at Dr. Funk with some dinner and drinks while enjoying the music from DJ Ship Rex. The Tiki Tuesday thing seems to be working well in Downtown San Jose and there was a lively crowd. Rex’s upbeat vintage tunes were delightful and we enjoyed the Fried Rice and Chinese Chicken Salad. We also tried the Malasadas, which were good but small.
The quality issues at Dr. Funk seem to be a distant memory now, as I enjoyed another really outstanding Mai Tai with Tuesday’s all-day Happy Hour pricing. Julie loved the Milk Punch and also had the Dr. Funk favorite the Shipwreck (also all-day Happy Hour pricing). Service was prompt and friendly.
The waiter asked if I’d like to try a special from Bartender Justin and I was pleased to try a Well Oiled Mai Tai, a sort of hybrid of a Mai Tai and a Corn n’ Oil cocktail that was published in Difford’s Guide. As such, there was orgeat, falernum, bitters, and some great rum. This was a great change of pace and nice to see something off-menu being offered for this discerning Mai Tai fan. Justin and team have been doing great lately.
Dropped into Smuggler’s Cove earlier in the week to see what’s new and to reacquaint myself with their legendary Mai Tai. Indeed the SC Mai Tai is still going strong, a very approachable yet very flavorful cocktail that seemed mild at first but definitely packed a punch by the end. Still one of the best Mai Tais in the world.
Smuggler’s Cove is celebrating their 15th Anniversary this year and their new swizzle stick is a monster. I’ve never seen such a gigantic swizzle. I ordered a Pampanito and SC usually puts a swizzle in it but couldn’t because this thing is just too large for the glass!
Re-remembering the family background of presumptive Democratic nominee Vice-President Kamala Harris made me think of making a tribute recipe for this Oakland native based on the Mai Tai, Oakland’s most famous cocktail. Harris’ parents are from Jamaica and India, so the rum ratios for a Mai Tai naturally fell into place.
Kamala Mai Tai by Kevin Crossman
1 oz Lime Juice
½ oz Orgeat
¼ oz Demerara Syrup
½ oz Orange Curacao
1 oz Oakland Rum (Wright & Brown)
½ oz Indian Rum (Amrut Two Indies)
½ oz Jamaica Rum (Worthy Park 109)
This was a really good Mai Tai, with the Jamaica rum presenting itself up front and a long finish with the barrel notes from the aged Wright & Brown from Oakland. I know most folks don’t have this rum, but if you want it to be authentic it has to come from Oakland.